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Đề tài: Collection of funny stories written in English

  1. #1
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    moonlight Khách

    Arrow Collection of funny stories written in English

    Sao chúng ta không sưu tầm một số chuyện cười bằng tiếng anh để mọi người cùng cười nhỉ.

    Let me start first, ok!

    Some Things You Just Can't Explain
    A farmer was sitting in the neighborhood bar getting drunk. A man came in and asked the farmer, "Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day, getting drunk?" The farmer shook his head and replied, "Some things you just can't explain."
    "So what happened that's so horrible?" the man asked as he sat down next to the farmer.
    "Well," the farmer said, "today I was sitting by my cow, milking her. Just as I got the bucket full, she lifted her left leg and kicked over the bucket."
    "Okay," said the man, "but that's not so bad." "Some things you just can't explain," the farmer replied. "So what happened then?" the man asked. The farmer said, "I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left."
    "And then?"
    "Well, I sat back down and continued to milk her. Just as I got the bucket full, she took her right leg and kicked over the bucket."
    The man laughed and said, "Again?" The farmer replied, "Some things you just can't explain." "So, what did you do then?" the man asked.
    "I took her right leg this time and tied it to the post on the right."
    "And then?"
    "Well, I sat back down and began milking her again. Just as I got the bucket full, the stupid cow knocked over the bucket with her tail."
    "Hmmm," the man said and nodded his head. "Some things you just can't explain," the farmer said.
    "So, what did you do?" the man asked.
    "Well," the farmer said, "I didn't have anymore rope, so I took off my belt and tied her tail to the rafter. In that moment, my pants fell down and my wife walked in ... Some things you just can't explain."

  2. #2
    Ngày gia nhập
    08 2006
    Nơi ở
    Hải Phòng
    Bài viết
    218

    Can you explain to me What "My pants fell down" means.

  3. #3
    No Avatar
    moonlight Khách

    Can you explain to me What "My pants fell down" means.
    hehe "something that u just can't explain" so try to understand and tell me when u know what it means

  4. #4
    Ngày gia nhập
    09 2006
    Nơi ở
    Hà Nôi
    Bài viết
    10

    hahaha
    first i thought his pants mean underware so i couldn't understand why it can fell down .Later i have understood

  5. #5
    Ngày gia nhập
    07 2006
    Nơi ở
    Hanoi, Vietnam
    Bài viết
    2,749

    Very good! In order to continue, the folllowing is a love-story: (familiar story)

    Note that Dreaminess [ don't ] isn't good at speaking english.

    OKay!
    The Salty Coffee.

    He met her on a party, she was so outstanding, many guys chasing after her, while he was so normal, nobody paid attention to him. At the end of the party, he invited her to have coffee with him. She was surprised, but as he was polite, she promised. They sat in a nice coffee shop, he was too nervous to say anything, She felt uncomfortable, she thought, "please, let me back home".

    Suddenly he asked the waiter: would you please give me some salt? I'd like to put it in my coffee. Everybody stared at him, so strange! His face turned red, but still, he put the salt in his coffee and drank it.She asked him curiously: why you have this hobby? He replied: when I was a little boy, I was living near the sea, I liked playing in the sea, I could feel the taste of the sea, salty and bite, just like the taste of the salty coffee. Now every time I have the salty coffee, I always think of my childhood, think of my hometown, I miss my hometown so much, I miss my parents who are still living there. While saying that, tears filled his eyes. She was deeply touched. That's his true feeling, from the bottom of his heart.A man who can tell out his homesick, he must be a man who loves home, cares about home, has responsibility of home. Then she also started to speak, spoke about her faraway hometown, her childhood, her family.

    That was a really nice talk, also a beautiful beginning of their story.

    They continued to date. She found actually he was a man who meets all her demands: he had tolerance, was kind hearted, warm, careful...he was such a good person but she almost missed him! Thanks to his salty coffee! Then the story was just like every beautiful love story: the princess married to the prince, then they were living the happy life... And, every time she made coffee for him, she put some salt in the coffee as she knew that's the way he liked it.

    After 40 years, he passed away, left her a letter which said: "My dearest, please forgive me, forgive my whole life lie. This was the only lie I said to you----the salty coffee. Remember the first time we dated? I was so nervous at that time, actually I wanted some sugar, but I said salt. It was hard for me to change so I just went ahead. I never thought that could be the start of our communication! I tried to tell you the truth many times in my life, but I was too afraid to do that, as I have promised not to lie to you for anything. Now I'm dying, I afraid of nothing so I tell you the truth: I don't like the salty coffee, what a strange bad taste. But I have the salty coffee for my whole life since I knew you, I never feel sorry for anything I do for you. Having you with me is my biggest happiness for my whole life. If I can live for the second time, I still want to know you and have you for my whole life, even though I have to drink the salty coffee again." Her tears made the letter totally wet. Someday, someone asked her: what's the taste of salty coffee? It's sweet. She replied.

    SOMETIMES YOU FEEL YOU KNOW THE PERSON MORE THAN ANYBODY ELSE... BUT ONLY TO REALISE THAT YOUR OPINION ABOUT THE PERSON WERE NOT AS YOU DESCRIBED. JUST LIKE THE INCIDENT OF THE SALTY COFFEE... LOVE MORE AND HATE LESSER... CAUSE' SOMETIMES SALT TASTES BETTER THAN SUGAR...
    Đã được chỉnh sửa lần cuối bởi Xcross87 : 16-01-2007 lúc 10:38 AM.
    Email: admin[@]congdongcviet.com | CC to: info[@]congdongcviet.com
    Phone: 0972 89 7667 (Office: 04 6329 2380)
    Yahoo & Skype: dreaminess_world (Vui lòng chỉ rõ mục đích ngay khi liên hệ, cảm ơn!)

    Một người nào đó coi thường ý thức kỷ luật cũng có nghĩa là người đó đã coi thường tương lai số phận của chính bản thân người đó. Những người coi thường ý thức kỷ luật sẽ không bao giờ có được sự thành công trong sự nghiệp!

  6. #6
    No Avatar
    moonlight Khách

    Mặc định Collection of funny stories written in English

    The love story that Dreaminess posted is really moved. Would u be such a man?

  7. #7
    No Avatar
    moonlight Khách

    Now, continue the series of funny stories written in English, let's laugh loudly as u can, ofcourse without force, ok?

    Home Early
    A blonde guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. "What's up?" he says. "I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman.
    He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!" The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor. "You rotten bastard," says the husband, "my wife's having a heart attack, and you're running around naked, scaring the kids!"

  8. #8
    Ngày gia nhập
    01 2007
    Bài viết
    4

    Trích dẫn Nguyên bản được gửi bởi Dreaminess
    Note that Dreaminess don't good at speak english.
    ???
    don't good at speaking english

  9. #9
    Ngày gia nhập
    09 2006
    Nơi ở
    /usr/share/.hack@
    Bài viết
    1,433

    Talking [Fun] Two Effects of Treatment

    Doctor : In order to lose your weight from now, you have to run 20 kms everyday. After a month you will see how you will look like ^.^

    Patient : OK. I'll try .

    After 30 days, the Patient calls to the Doctor
    Patient : Dr. your treatment is really effective, I lost such a lot of weights and have a beautiful body now.
    Dr. : OK. It is a good news, I'd like to hear the effectiveness from you. So can we meet tonight to celebrate ?
    Patient : Oh...About this one, I wanna ask you. I'm about 600 kms far from home, so how can I get back home ? You didn't tell me about this for the treatment.
    Dr. : ???
    None!

  10. #10
    Ngày gia nhập
    09 2006
    Nơi ở
    /usr/share/.hack@
    Bài viết
    1,433

    Talking [Fun] Candles of Giving Births

    A 40-year-old couple asked the Bishop for praying God to bless them a child.
    The Bishop : Tomorrow I'm coming to Roma and I will light on 3 candles for you in Vatican Church.

    After 2 years, the Bishop goes back to visit those couple for the results. He comes inside the house and sees only the wife with 2 sets of twins.
    The Bishop : Where's your husband ?
    Wife : Thank you Sir for lighting candles and now we have 2 sets of twins. My husband has come to Roma to blow off those 3 candles.
    None!

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